"Then it was like, 'Okay, now if I ever got on to The Tonight Show!'" That happened.
"Then after that, 'If I ever got a part in a sitcom...'" Ray Romano, a pal from the stand-up world, hooked him up.
"Then it was if I got my own sitcom..." Two years after his praised Everybody Loves Raymond appearances, CBS launched King of Queens.
"Then if I got in a movie…" Hitch, starring Will Smith.
"And then it was, if I got my own movie..." You didn't see Grilled, the 2006 crime comedy that paired him with Romano, but it happened.
"'If I could do this, if I could do that' -- that's life," he says. "That really is. I don't think we'll ever be completely satisfied here, and that's what keeps us moving."