"There's a rich merchant that has two sons. He says to his sons, 'Would you like your inheritance?' The older son says, 'No thanks, dad. I'm going to stay with you. I'm going to be a good boy and I'm going to work for you.' But the young one wants to go and sniff coke off a stripper's tits, so he says, 'Give me all the dough. I'm going large.' The young son goes out and spunks it all. Ends up feeding pigs. He's in a lot of trouble. When he's feeding pigs, the people that employ him to feed the pigs, they won't even feed him the pig swill.
"At this point he realizes he may have made a bit of a rick, so he calls up dad and says, 'Dad, I am so fucking sorry. I think I've made a bit of a boo-boo. Any chance I can come back to wipe your ass?' (Paraphrasing.) Dad, at which point, runs to the gates and welcomes back the incoming prodigal, wasteful son.
"As the son's coming up, the older son goes, 'What the fuck's going on here, dad? I've been great. You fucking got yourself all excited. You've run to see this cunt come back.' And not only that, but he's ordered the sacrifice of the fatted cow. 'You've never killed me a fatted calf before. What's going on with the son that likes sniffing coke off stripper's tits? Why all for him?' 'Because, my son, you'll always be a good bean. But, fuck off, mug. What I'm really interested in is my son that was lost and now he is found.'"