In interviews for their Golden Globe-winning, Oscar-seeking vision-quest The Revenant, both Leonardo DiCaprio and director Alejandro González Iñárritu have emphasized just how gritty, challenging, and hellish the shoot was. Crew members quit in protest. A particularly unlucky actor was reportedly dragged naked along icy terrain for one of the film's epic battle sequences. The pampered "pussy posse" king himself ate raw bison liver. In case you didn't realize: these men are very serious.
That's a testament to the source material, Michael Punke's novel based on the life of real 19th-century frontiersman Hugh Glass. No slouch when it came to acts of physical endurance, the Pennsylvania-born fur-trapper really did many of things depicted in the film: he was attacked by a bear, left for dead, and eventually traveled between 200 and 250 miles back to civilization. And he did it all in 1823 without a smartphone!
Well, lucky for us, we've got survivalist websites, YouTube tutorials, and years of Bear Grylls episodes at our disposal. So, with an assist from the wise sage Google, I've put together a guide to replicating The Revenant's brutal physical feats should you ever find yourself screwed over by Tom Hardy and left for dead in the wilderness. (Warning: some mild spoilers for The Revenant follow.)