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5 Life Lessons We Learned From Comedy Central’s Idiotsitter, Episode 1

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Courtesy of Comedy Central

In Comedy Central’s new show Idiotsitter, broke Ivy League grad Billie (Charlotte Newhouse) responds to an ad for a babysitter, and winds up in charge of 20-something crazy woman Gene (Jillian Bell), who is under house arrest. If the show teaches us anything, it’s that student loan debt will seriously screw you over. Here’s what else we learned from the first episode, which premieres TONIGHT (Thursdays) at 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central and on the CC app.

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1. First impressions are everything

Gene propositions two cops for sex while drunk and riding a stolen pony called ice cream. Yup, Billie clearly has the best "babysitting" job of all time. 

2. Do your research before you take a job

Billie went to Harvard but finds herself using her college degree to "idiotsit" house arrested Gene. Billie, you should have spent a little more time on Craigslist and Indeed. Did you not see Gene's LinkedIn (or lack thereof) before accepting the interview?

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3. But... a job’s a job

Gene’s dad Kent (yes, that’s Stephen Root, aka Milton from Office Space!) and his Ambien-ditzy wife Tanzy (Angela Little), convince Billie to overlook the “fudged” age in the ad, and the semantics of “babysitter” vs. “court-appointed guardian,” and take the job. At least there might be good "perks". 

4. Hoofies are the new roofies

With Gene’s parents out of town, Billie tells Gene to invite a couple of friends over. In a party montage that must have required 1,000 solo cups, Billie has one “hoofied” (roofies plus horse tranquilizers) glass of wine, then wakes up two days later with a drip in her arm. Great first week of work if you ask us.

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5. Baby’s Dirty Dancing monologue is surprisingly versatile

It’s no surprise that Billie is ready to quit after her first few days on the job. But Gene makes a last-ditch attempt to hold on to her by breaking out Baby’s speech from Dirty Dancing -- you know, when she finally gets it on with Johnny. Though Gene is outside, and on a bike that we should probably presume is stolen, there’s no denying the enduring impact of “I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling, my whole life, the way I feel when I’m with you.” Billie caves, just like Patrick Swayze did, and a discussion of that “amazing dance sex and butt-grabbing” ensues. Seriously, let’s watch that film again.

Catch Idiotsitter, Thursdays 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central and on the CC app.