Father's Day? No way
"I feel bad for Father's Day because the kids just get him cologne, or tools, or cigarettes, or more cologne. The Father's Day thing is fun, but it doesn't really measure up to Mother's Day because the father, let's face it, while he participates in the raising of the children, he didn't bring them into the world. That's why there should be two, maybe three days for Mother's Day. A Mother's Short Week, or a Mother's Long Weekend."
Always give her a card
"I like a Mother's Day card that has a place to write something personal and heartfelt, like, 'I remember all the things you did for me, Mom,' or 'Thanks so much for the time you bailed me out of jail,' or 'Thank you for paying for clown college.'"