I could almost be nostalgic for Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Others with the same harbored knowledge are, still obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley circa 1997. Fuller House is Netflix's biggest series to date -- no coincidence. This is kid-actor-fueled nostalgia in a nutshell. Our childhood moments crystalize in the past, and carry on into the future. People "grew up" with the Olsens. People will celebrate their 30th birthday with heartfelt tributes. And people cherish the time they saw Double, Double, Toil and Trouble on ABC Family. Never forget.
Thankfully, there's "Gimmie Pizza Slow," a demonizing inversion of youth culture, an antidote to never-ending nostalgia, a rite of passage for the actual Mary-Kate and Ashley, who saw their squeaky-clean personas sacrificed at the internet's altar. As of the twins' 30th birthday, 6.5 million people have watched philipmserious' video, and for most, it has replaced memories of Mary-Kate and Ashley's original movie contributions.
Scraping my brain of extraneous Mary-Kate and Ashley trivia, actually growing up and turning 30, is a chore. I'm prepared to let diabolical YouTubers do some of the work. On the Olsens' birthday milestone, let's rewatch "Gimmie Pizza Slow" and remember: nothing is sacred, nothing should be, and pizza is extremely delicious.