Game of Thrones is bleak. Politics will get you killed, money will get you killed, love will get you killed, family will get you killed, sex will get you killed, power will get you killed, and wine will make the inevitable "getting killed" thing a lot less painful. Basically, if you're looking to live a peaceful life, don't glean wisdom from HBO's mega-hit fantasy series.
A new Late Night With Seth Meyers sketch shows why we should leave the thrones-gaming to residents of Westeros. The bit imagines Melisandre, the series' diabolical Red Priestess, attending a baby shower full of pastel decor and upbeat personalities. Not her style. This is a woman who once gave birth to a shadow demon. This is a woman who's totally OK burning children at the stake for a magical leg up in war. This is not a woman who enjoys playing guessing games about a baby's future profession... because she can see the future.
Melisandre's interloper status becomes evident as soon as she's asked for parenting advice. "Clutch your child close to your breast, for the night is dark and full of terrors." Not a tidbit you'll find in What to Expect When You're Expecting. The moral of this sketch: Love Game of Thrones -- just don't live by it.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Matt Patches is Thrillist’s Entertainment Editor. He previously wrote for Grantland, Esquire.com, Vulture, The Hollywood Reporter, and The Guardian. He hopes Jon Snow wins the thrones game. Find him on Twitter @misterpatches.