"There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie," says Jamie Kennedy in Wes Craven's 1996 meta-horror film Scream. To an audience of beer-drinking teens, he lists the various activities that will get you killed: having sex, drinking, doing drugs, and saying, "I'll be right back!" It's a convincing argument for how to stay alive in a horror movie -- but what if you're destined to die in a horror movie and want to go out with a bang?
Unlike Jamie Kennedy, I'm not here to judge you, Unknowing Character Trapped in a Scary Movie. Without you, the fleshy cannon fodder, one of cinema's best genres would have no one to kill. You are important. You are essential. And you are about to die. Here are the ways that's going to happen.