— Alexandra Spratt (@a_spratt) September 17, 2015
It wasn't until the debate ended that the identity of the creeptastic man with the golden chin began to spread through the internet: Gregory Caruso. Turns out, the dude's a movie director whose dad (Rick Caruso, a real estate mogul) has donated handsomely to the GOP coffers in the past -- hence, his appearance at the debate.
So there: mystery solved. Now we can all get back to talking about the important issues, like Donald Trump's hair, Rand Paul's justice fetish, and Jeb Bush's expensive weed habit.
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Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and he can't fathom taking these debates seriously. Follow his sardonic tweets @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to email@example.com