The Craziest Netflix Petitions Currently Raging on the Internet
Change.org's mission is "to empower people everywhere to create the change they want to see." Any person from around the world can create a petition using the site, making demands for -- you guessed it -- change. Issues brought to the table range from peace initiatives to local government overhauls. Plus better Netflix. Change.org users really need their preferred streaming service to be pristine.
It may sound trite, but Netflix hears petitioners' cries. People have successfully pressured Netflix to cut ties to a link-referral service that fueled anti-gay hate groups. They rallied to make Daredevil available to blind viewers. They campaigned to prevent Murder, She Wrote from disappearing and won. The People changed Netflix -- so why wouldn't everyone give their pitch a try? Well, they do. Here are some of the wildest wants currently chugging along on Change.org:
Reality check: While Netflix is in the Kevin James business -- it'll distribute his next comedy, The True Memoirs of an International Assassin, later this year -- King of Queens is currently locked in a syndication deal with TBS. Hopefully 210 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond can help these petitioners deal.
Reality check: An April Fool's joke becomes the fuel for fan dreams. It's not out of the realm of possibility -- Disney's Marvel properties are dominating the streaming service and Star Wars is an obvious next step. But maybe not with a prequel character sliced in half and revived as a mechanical spider in the cartoons.
Reality check: The reliable way to watch Unsolved Mysteries is actually 8am Lifetime reruns. Reliable and right: UFO abductions and coffee are part of a balanced breakfast!
Reality check: I would definitely read a reasoned, level-headed take on this subject. There are very few reasoned, level-headed takes on Change.org.
Reality check: That Person of Interest, a show I wasn't quite sure was still on TV, has a passionate fandom is a beautiful thing. Does it need saving after five seasons, the final given ample time to send itself off this summer? The fight to "save" the series only begins with this petition; there's also a movement to flood Netflix with custom-made discs and a documentary shedding light on PoI obsessives. There's little chance, but A for effort.
Reality check: Not even Dr. Frankenstein was crazy enough to resurrect man twice.
Reality check: This is very plausible. Ol' Andy is the son of Full House producer Marc Warren. Though if Andy's resorting to petitioning his way into the Fuller House background, maybe "homies" is a bit of a misnomer.
Reality check: Not enough anime??????
Reality check: Clearly we need more anime on Netflix.
Reality check: The pushback against Netflix's true-crime series is legit and shocking. Shortly after the series dropped, The New York Times examined its negative affects on the small town's reputation and tourism rates. Netflix isn't feeling sympathetic; intentions for Season 2 were quietly announced in February.
Reality check: If you can exorcise Jerry Seinfeld of his Bee Movie night terrors, maybe he'll allow it to hit Netflix.
Reality check: There are approximately 1,000 "Bring back Chuck!" petitions demanding a continuation of the five-season comedy spy series. Fans want to know: did Sarah, Chuck's love interest, gain her memory back? This could all be solved with a tweet, and yet, here we are.
Reality check: Pray for those harboring VeggieTales nostalgia.
Reality check: If you can't curate your own frisky programming, you don't deserve to "chill."
Reality check: Signing up immediately.
Reality check: You and I were into this cannibalistic murder mystery for very different reasons, salivating Change.org patron.
Reality check: Maybe a specific suggestion or two would help, but I like where this person's head is at. Netflix should be prosecuted for indecent exposure for recommending inAPPropriate Comedy to any decent comedy lover.
Reality check: Because it's not really Voltron without THE King Zarkon.
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Matt Patches is Thrillist’s Entertainment editor. He previously wrote for Grantland, Esquire.com, Vulture, The Hollywood Reporter, and The Guardian. He's petitioning Netflix for a Quantum Leap sequel series. Find him on Twitter: @misterpatches.