Captain America’s super spliffs
“Chris Evans should roll every joint. He was at our table and someone wanted to get high but doesn’t roll. Chris crushed up weed in one hand and prepared the papers in the other. I blinked and suddenly the weed’s all in there and it’s neatly twisted into a cone. He even used a drink ticket to make a filter. It happened in less than a minute and he didn’t bother sitting. It’s one of the best joints I’ve smoked.” -- Promoter, NYC
Dustin Hoffman will wait on YOU
“Dustin’s after-party for a premiere was at our venue and he brought his whole family. He had a reserved table in my section, but when I came to take his order, he very politely said they were all set. I went to the bar to get drinks for another table, and I looked over and saw Dustin, trying to order drinks. I told him that’s my job, but he smiled and said he didn’t need anyone to wait on him. My tray of drinks came out during this conversation and he was so nice and sweet that he actually offered to help me carry them to my table. He almost didn’t take no for an answer. When he left, even though I never waited on him, he gave me a serious tip.” -- Waitress, NYC
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Ned Doyle is a writer living in New York City who hopes never to be famous.