You’re a couple with a dog
So he’s sterile AND they’d rather pay thousands for a French bulldog than get a shelter dog like someone with a shred of actual decency.
You’re a couple with unruly children
And they just knocked over a table of organic raspberries while fighting over an iPhone, even though they both have one, because, you know, kindergarten graduation presents and all.
Your children are creepily well-behaved
Did that 3-year-old kid just say “Pardon me, ma’am, may I pass through?” That family must have dark secrets. Dark. Secrets.
You’ve been staring at the creepily well-behaved childrens’ yoga pants-wearing mom
You WOULD be staring at the mom with the unruly children, but she’s off trying to corral her kids as one tries to brain the other with a butternut squash.
You drove here
At least have the good sense to park a few blocks away so no one knows. Maybe carry a bike helmet just to be sure?
You’re clearly there for sweets and have no interest in produce
Yeah most “farmers markets” have plenty of stuff that didn’t exactly come fresh from the farm. Don’t think they didn’t just see you make a beeline for the chocolate croissants and then start eating it immediately while getting in line for salted caramel truffles.