Countless sweaty, potentially awkward social situations have been saved by the dulcet tones of Nelly's 2002 anthem "Hot in Herre." Think of how many lackluster BBQs, weak-ass dorm parties, and boring school dances were saved by Nelly's voice and the expert production work of the Neptunes. Now Nelly needs your help: the St. Louis rapper has been struck with a federal tax lien of $2,412,283. As Nelly would say, "Good gracious!"
According to TMZ, the athleisure innovator is working with tax authorities to fix the problem -- he also reportedly owes $149,511 in state taxes -- but that doesn't mean you, as a proud lover of his excellent debut album Country Grammar, can't also do your part to assist Nelly with his financial woes. It's time to show Nelly the same human compassion he showed to the nerdy Honey Nut Cheerios bee in that cereal commercial from a few years ago. It's time to fight back.
How exactly do you do that? By streaming those Nelly songs. As SPIN's Brian Josephs helpfully points out, the per-stream payout for artists "lucky" enough to have their music on Spotify is between $0.006 and $0.0084, which means you should try to stream the song 402,880,500 times. That's a lot of Nelly. Luckily, Nelly has seven albums to choose from, including Nellyville, 2004's double album Sweat/Suit, and 2013's comeback record M.O. You can pick any album in his discography and just let Nelly brighten up your September.
Yes, it sounds like a lot of work but, like Nelly in the "Air Force Ones" video, you are not alone. You are surrounded by fellow Nelly-loving citizens of the internet, who have also pledged to support the Saint Lunatic in his time of need.
Nelly's fate is in your hands. As JFK once said, "Ask not what Nelly can do for you, ask what you can do for Nelly." Right now, the bravest thing you can do is to stream Nelly out of bankruptcy. America needs you.
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