And now, for the old British man's guide to never dying, we turn to Tom Spittle. Tom believes you should begin every day with a fry-up (or English breakfast to us Yanks), pepper in some gambling and smoking, and end with a pint or two for good measure. Between all that and his crisp ties, he's an inspiration to dads everywhere.
Refusing to see any "damn doctors" or take those "worthless pills" is already a classic old person move. But there might actually be something to it. Lucille Boston Lewis claims she made it a century without taking any medication whatsoever. She eventually caved, but says she picked up the habit from her prescription-shunning nana, who also lived past the big 1-0-0.
At 116, Jeralean Talley was the world's oldest person -- until she passed only recently -- but she refused to eat like she was. Her favorite foods included honey buns, McNuggets, and Wendy's chili, and every Christmas, she made hog's head cheese. Deceptively, it contained zero cheese but plenty of pigs' ears and feet in jelly stock.
Take away her age, and Marian Cannon Schlesinger is still a fascinating person. She was married to Kennedy aide Arthur Schlesinger Jr. for ages, lived in China for a while, and wrote seven books. While she tried to write off her longevity with a cute story about her son bringing her coffee every morning, he totally ratted her out on her other daily beverage: booze. What a lousy kid.
Kristin Hunt is a staff writer for Thrillist. She plans to follow her 94-year-old grandma's cues and will drink Harp by the beach in her old age. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.