Matt Stone and Trey Parker should be proud parents. Across two decades and 267 episodes, we've watched the fruit of their brain-loins, South Park, grow from an infant reliant on off-color humor into an equal-opportunity-offending young adult capable of punching up and down at its targets.
With the Comedy Central show set to pump out new material and take on such topics as Colin Kaepernick and the presidential election, we've revisited all 19 seasons (available to stream on Hulu) and highlighted the best installment from each. Get ready to be as understanding, non-biased, and politically correct as possible.
Season 1: "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"
The series premiere ("Cartman Gets an Anal Probe") boasts legendary status, but this jam-packed 1997 holiday classic plays better on multiple levels: it introduces an iconic character, mocks religious ignorance, and sneaks in a really, really twisted live-action commercial. Also, remember the infamous song about Kyle's mom? That's here, too.
Honorable mention: "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"
Season 2: "Chickenlover"
A serial chicken-f*cker with a literary bent disrupts the town, causing South Park's main law enforcer to enroll at the local "Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good." Though Officer Barbrady nearly steals this mystery-themed caper, nothing trumps Dep. Eric Cartman and his newfound authori-tah.
Honorable mention: "Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus"
Season 3: "Chinpokomon"
Here, Stone and Parker parody nonsensical fads, offensive penis stereotypes, and the simple fact that parents ruin the cool shit their kids love. Rewatch this and start praying the delinquent duo returns this year with a Pokémon Go follow-up.
Honorable mention: "Sexual Harassment Panda"
Season 4: "Something You Can Do with Your Finger"
As the creators explain here, the tale of Fingerbang marked a major turning point in the series: it's one of the first entries to center on one main story, instead of three or so discrete ones that try to collide. The result successfully incorporates boy bands, Randy's dark past, and the most striking songs since Season 1.
Honorable mention: "Cartman Joins NAMBLA"
Season 5: "Scott Tenorman Must Die"
If any of the selects in this rundown can be called a mindf*ck, it's this one. Stone and Parker explore a deep pocket of Cartman's psyche that's not necessarily unbelievable, but definitely shocking -- you will never look at him the same way again.
Honorable mention: "It Hits the Fan"
This Lord of the Rings homage shows what happens when a porn flick winds up in the wrong hands. Butters does his best Gollum, sixth-graders intervene, and all the boys really act like grade-school boys playing make-believe -- suspenseful and risible, it's one of the all-time great South Park adventures.
Honorable mentions: Honestly, the rest of this entire season -- but especially "Asspen," "Fun with Veal," "Professor Chaos," "The Simpsons Already Did It," "Red Hot Catholic Love," and "The Death Camp of Tolerance"
Season 7: "All About Mormons"
This is the laugh-out-loud stepping stone that propelled Stone and Parker from Orgazmo to The Book of Mormon. A brilliant indictment of organized religion, it gleefully exploits the horrors of blind faith and fundamentalism. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Honorable mention: "Casa Bonita"
Season 8: "Good Times with Weapons"
From a technical standpoint, South Park's anime send-up comes with top-notch art, music, and editing. It's also just friggin' hysterical to see a hulking Cartman talking with normal Cartman's voice, essentially channeling his inner Mike Tyson. The moment that encapsulates all those highlights: the tragic downfall of Professor Chaos.
Honorable mention: "Up the Down Steroid"
Season 9: "Trapped in the Closet"
This makes the Mormon one feel like a compliment. "Trapped in the Closet," which relentlessly targets Scientology and Tom Cruise's sexuality, became so contentious that Chef (Isaac Hayes) left and Comedy Central opted not to re-run it in 2006. In terms of satirical power, this might be the quintessential South Park episode.
Honorable mention: "Ginger Kids"
Season 10: "Make Love, Not Warcraft"
This World of Warcraft crossover takes the funniest aspects of "Chinpokomon" (obsessive accuracy) and "Good Times with Weapons" (familiar voices, unfamiliar bodies), combines them, and sticks the landing in a way that would've made Shawn Johnson jealous. In a word: trollsterpiece.
Honorable mention: "ManBearPig"
Season 11: "Imaginationland"
Collectively, the Emmy-winning "Imaginationland" saga -- really the "Kyle sucks Cartman's balls" trilogy -- is a gift. It's creative and demented, with a greatest-hits feel. RIP Care Bears.
Honorable mentions: Another stacked season, this one unspooled such winners as "More Crap," "Guitar Queer-O," "The List," "The Snuke," "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson," and "D-Yikes!"
Season 12: "Eek, a Penis!"
Cartman tries to reach inner-city keeds as a Bill Belichick-inspired cheater while Garrison again grapples with his gender and sexual identity. The power of "Eek, a Penis," and all its envelope-pushing, is probably best exemplified by the mouse that has a human-size dong growing on its back. Are they really gonna go there? you might think, as it scurries (and wags) across the screen.
Honorable mention: "Britney's New Look"
Season 13: "The Ring"
Sorry, Kanye -- the Jonas Bros. just squeaked past you here. (The way Stone and Parker lambast the music industry's selling of sex to underage girls is at once vital and entertaining, an impressive combo.) Maybe you'll get another shot this year?
Honorable mention: "Fishsticks"
Season 14: "Crippled Summer"
If it weren't for the College Humor dust-up, this season's trophy would probably go to "Insheeption." (I love the background music so much.) But "Crippled Summer," with its Warner Bros.-inspired f*cked-upness and rare Towelie appearance, also rules. Shout-out to underrated faves Nathan and Mimsy.
Honorable mention: "Medicinal Fried Chicken"
Season 16: "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining"
The boys come face to face with near-fatal boredom in this I Shouldn't Be Alive riff. If silence is golden, "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining" has some surefire nuggets that make you really feel the gang's pain. Other highlights include expletive-filled zip-line sequences, an awe-inspiring amount of diarrhea, and six minutes of live-action magic.
Honorable mention: "Cartman Finds Love"
Season 19: "Stunning and Brave"
Last year's premiere promised a focus on Caitlyn Jenner, causing viewers to wonder if South Park would reach its cringe-worthiest low. But in an unexpected move that was simply genius, Stone and Parker took Jenner on by not really taking her on at all, instead peppering this episode with forced compliments and setting up a season-long arc that placed PC culture directly in its sights.
Honorable mention: "You're Not Yelping"
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