Lifestyle

Southerners' 10 Quintessential Quotations About New York City

People from the South may not always have an accent, but they do have an opinion on practically everything -- especially New York City. Here are 10 quintessential quotes from famous Southerners like Stephen Colbert, Truman Capote, and Eli Manning. For full effect, read them with a glass of sweet tea in hand.

“In New York, they like winners. They don’t like second place.”
-- Eli Manning, New York Giants quarterback from Louisiana

“Hey everybody! I got fired today. You won't have Kenneth Allen Parcell to kick around anymore. So I'm going to tell you people what I really think of you. No. No. For four years I have listened to you all complain about your East Coast media elite problems, your apartment renovations, and your overpriced Star Wars memorabilia.”
-- Kenneth Parcell, an NBC page from Georgia on 30 Rock

“I really want to leave New York City, but I just put $6,000 on my Metrocard.”
-- Zach Galifianakis, comedian from North Carolina

"It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.”
-- O. Henry, author from North Carolina

"One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it’s Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack."
-- Aziz Ansari, comedian from South Carolina

“I love New York, even though it isn't mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it.” 
-- Truman Capote, author, born in Louisiana

“In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.” 
-- David Sedaris, humorist and author who grew up in North Carolina, in Me Talk Pretty One Day

"I got thrown out of a bar in New York City. Now, when I say I got thrown out of a bar, I don't mean someone asked me to leave, and we walked to the door together, and I said, 'Bye everyone, I gotta go!' Six bouncers picked me up and hurled me out of that bar like I was a Frisbee. Those big old New York bouncers that think that bouncing is cool. They hang out with other bouncers, talking about bouncing. They go home at night and watch Road House and fondle themselves."
-- Ron White, comedian from Texas, in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie

“New York City is the only place in the world where the lesbian candidate is too conservative.”
-- Stephen Colbert, comedian from South Carolina, on a city council member who lost the Democratic primary for mayor in 2013

"A New York nine's an everywhere-else six,
Timewise, the opposite goes for chicks."

-- Childish Gambino, rapper raised in Georgia, in "L.E.S."

Lee Bresloueris a senior writer for Thrillist and thinks Zach put $5,994.50 too much on his card. Follow him to more astute observations: @LeeBreslouer.