The lie: Strippers have pimps
The truth: She does not have a pimp
I have a day planner, a safe, two savings accounts, an IRA, and 720 credit score. Not many pimps can probably say that. If I was going to have a pimp, it would make more sense to be smuggling blow in balloons stuffed up my hoo-ha, because that would probably be more lucrative.
The lie: She has insecurity issues
The truth: Insecurity and the confidence to be naked aren’t compatible
Like the rest of you, strippers have good days and bad days. If I eat a burrito too close to my shift, I’ll look like I’m carrying a food baby, but otherwise, that new ab routine has been doing me justice. Human bodies are never “perfect,” however, as Scarlett Johansson once said, “I know my best angles.” And besides, neon or red light makes you look more handsome, too.
Elle Stanger is a mother, stripper, feminist, activist, non-monogamous wife, and author who entertains the masses in Portland, OR. She holds two university degrees, neither of which she utilizes in a conventional fashion. She prefers organic food, dark beer, and self-actualized individuals. Don’t ask her about her tattoos; she’s run out of clever retorts. Find her online at EroticMusePDX.com.