Not a fan of football? Attempting to deliberately avoid being part of the national conversation? Hate men in tight pants? Hate America? Thankfully, a few bold networks are daring to compete with the most-watched TV event of the year by airing their own slate of new, original programming to compete with the big game. Football-phobes, here are your options:
The Puppy Bowl (Animal Planet, 3pm)
The granddaddy of Super Bowl counter-programming is back for its 11th year of adorable canine antics. Who will your favorite player be? Will it be Atticus, the 12-month-old Husky/Lab mix with the baleful, "please adopt me" stare? Or perhaps Brooklyn the German Shepherd pup, whose perky ears are just waiting to hear "I wuv you" cooed into them by his new owner? Remember, all these puppers are adoptable, so you -- yes, you! -- could be Brooklyn's new owner!
Kitten Bowl (The Hallmark Channel, 12pm)
Like the puppy bowl, only for cat people.
Fish Bowl (Nat Geo Wild, 6pm)
Is there such a thing as a fish person? If so, you might want to alert the one in your life to this Zen spectacle. Note: this is also good for stoned-out-of-their-minds people.