When I'm in the shower, I usually like to focus on getting myself clean and listening to hot jams on my sweet shower radio, but the geniuses over at Reddit's /r/ShowerThoughts run up their water bill while thinking of brilliant insights, though sometimes they sound like rejected Steven Wright jokes. Lucky for you, we've cut the fat and found the 15 most scintillating thoughts culled from the moderators' Twitter account, which you should definitely follow, @ShowerThoughts.
Christian, meet my friend Jay Date
There's a Stock Market-Themed Cocktail Bar in Hong Kong
"Do lots of harm" is also a great motto
Our favorite sports have an emphasis on low physical activity
Dr. Dre is perfect for a first dance at your wedding
Human traffickers really hate Bono
So... we're just as smart as Socrates?
You should see the world from an ant's perspective
Zales and the SPCA need to merge
"Come back, Mario!" is appropriate either way
You are consistently confusing my brain
Your future parenting skills are questionable
You may be proving that dogs are actually smarter than humans
We've always argued that pizza delivery is sensual
It's hard to focus on your hygiene when your personal life moves at romcom speed
Do Olympic medals work as "Get Out of Jail Free" cards?
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Lee Breslouer is a senior writer for Thrillist, and thinks the phrase "wet dream" sounds like coming up with a Shower Thought when you're asleep. Follow him to more "genius" ideas: at @LeeBreslouer.