"Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich."
-Episode 4.3, "Stone Mountain"
"Lovers. Oh that word bums me out unless it’s between meat and pizza."
-Episode 2.8, “Secrets and Lies”
"Living a lie will eat you up inside. Like that parasite I got from eating sushi on Amtrak."
-Episode 6.10, “Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whisky”
"Rejection from society is what created the X-Men!"
-Episode 4.16, "Floyd"
"Here’s a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. That way, when you’re done, you have a treat!"
-Episode 6.13, "Grandmentor"