5. December 31 (New Year's Eve)
A lot like St. Patrick’s Day except that your coupled-up friends will make some lame excuse about “showing up after dinner,” and you’ll spend $200 to go to the same bar you would have gone to the night before for free.
4. December 24 (Christmas Eve)
There is no way on Earth you can avoid combination gifts here, and if you do manage to throw yourself a party, the only friends showing up are the ones who hate their families. So, yeah, at least they’ll be down to drink.
3. February 14 (Valentine's Day)
If you’re a woman, you’ve officially set yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment -- now every guy you ever date will have to do something special, squared. If you’re a guy, you now have to spend your birthday making somebody else feel special, because Hallmark said so.
2. February 29 (Leap Day)
You know your birthday sucks when there’s an entire operetta based on the premise of how crappy it is to only celebrate it once every four years. And even if you DON’T get stuck living with pirates until you’re 84, really the only fun you can have here is borrowing money in March of 2016 and telling people, “I’ll get you back on my birthday.”