Welcome back once more to BatchSlap, the wonderful place where every week presents a fresh chance for someone to dump a vodka soda onto someone else's hair for the opportunity to have sex with Nick Viall in a hot tub attached to a stretch Hummer limousine.
Nick is back, again, and I hate him, but the more important thing to know is how this week's post works. Basically, I'll break down everyone on the show, boys and girls alike, and do things like rate their chances of winning, comment on their shark-dolphin costumes in a highly detached fashion, and remind you that no matter how you spell Christen, it's totally OK on this show. Unless you do it like that.
I absolutely love how this guy is expanding his promotional opportunities; it really is the worst waiting an entire season for him to show up. Before long he's going to have his own reality show, on which people come into pawnshops trying to sell old Star Trek memorabilia, and he lowballs 'em good and hard before just giving them free wedding rings.