The Group Date
We've got ourselves a crew here: Luke, Robby, Aaron Rodgers' Brother, James Taylor, and Alex. Which means that Chase and Jim from The Office are going -- dum dum dummmmmmmm -- on the dreaded two-on-one date, the record second of the season.
Since Aaron Rodgers' Brother is on this date, they play more sports. Fútbol, to be specific, not to be confused with fútbol Americano. They kick the ball around on a lovely concrete field, where Aaron Rodgers' Brother scores a goal and pulls his shirt over his head, to prove he's not wearing a wire. Although he IS wearing a wire!! Maybe JoJo just didn't notice?
Eventually the locals scheme up a sexy competition in which all the guys have to take penalty kicks, and the winner gets to kiss JoJo. James Taylor, who has been struggling with this date because he "doesn't see himself as sexy" and thinks that the other guys are "perfect" and "really cool dudes," is the only one to score, so he wins the kiss.
But he hasn't truly won anything yet, except that kiss and the eternal respect of Argentina's cement-soccer giants -- he's gotta hit the night date like everyone else. Luke and Aaron Rodgers' Brother are wearing the same goddamn leather jackets they both wear to every single group date. It's become nothing short of a leather jacket cold war, in which each knows that if he removes his leather jacket, the other will have a gigantic advantage, because he has become appropriately dressed for 95-degree South American weather, and therefore, completely uncool.
Luke's up first with the quality time, and he does what Luke does every time: says really nice things that ultimately mean nothing, smiles crookedly, and makes out with JoJo. They have become the couple whose entire relationship is based on talking about their relationship, which doesn't exist outside talking about it. He punctuates all his sweet nothings with an additional, bonus sweet nothing: "I want that. And I want that WITH YOU." And it's working, really well. We know quite literally nothing about Luke at this point -- his profession is still listed as "war veteran,” for chrissakes -- and yet here he is, just smoldering the night away and yapping about "connections."