The Whitney hometown
Today, Whitney is going to tell Chris she loves him! She swears she is. But before that, she brings him to her work, where she talks about combining eggs with sperm, and Chris calls her a professional, which is good, because you should never trust an amateur fertility nurse. Then she takes him to the room where the men do their half of the work, which has a really nice recliner, and a TV, and lots of Playboys full of Jade’s pictures.
Time to hit Casa Whitney, where we’ll be doing some time with Sister Kimberly, Brother-in-Law Matt, Boisterous Uncle Johnny (whose shirts appear to have half the buttons they should), and Grandma. Chris tells Uncle Johnny that he and Whitney are looking for the same thing, which is an irrigation system that won’t totally break the bank, and then Chris gets some time with Sister Kimberly. He comes right out and asks for her blessing of their potential fake marriage, and she’s not budging: she doesn’t want Whitney to be one of four girls, she wants Whitney to be one of one girls, so, Chris should call her when that’s the case.
Overall, the sisters in these Hometowns so far have been using the word "protective" to sub in for "jealous," and seem to want to ruin every chance their sister has at moving to Arlington, Iowa to wipe the sweat off Chris’s brow after a long day of programming the farm robots that have taken everyone’s jobs.
But Whitney isn’t having that. She gets some solo time with Chris, where she tells him that a while back, she was in Napa, and bought an expensive bottle of wine she could barely afford, with the idea that she would open it with the man she was going to marry. AND SO SHE’S GOING TO OPEN IT RIGHT NOW!!! In case you don’t get it, she’s implying that she is going to marry Chris. Also: she’s totally falling in love with him! Woooo!! This generally seals up a Fantasy Suite date; nice work Whitney. The question of why Sutter Home Chardonnay is out of her price range is never broached.
The Kaitlyn hometown O, Canada! Our home and native land. Which we refuse to live in when it’s winter, so we go to Phoenix until it’s not cold out anymore. This is the song that Kaitlyn’s family sings every morning, and why we are going to Phoenix, and not Canada. This is bullcrap.