So, my DVR sucks. I came home from the BatchSlap Headquarters, where I spend my days cultivating long-stemmed roses and doing Google Hangouts with Neil Lane and Ames, and I realized that it had simply refused to tape the show, and I was 19 minutes late, because Neil Lane was telling an interminable story about this pair of 100% diamond overalls that he sold to Mr. T in 1987.
Luckily, I have sources who don’t videochat with Neil Lane, so they’re on time for the show. One sent me the following notes on what I missed:
-The first thing Whitney tells Chris's family is that they "made a baby together" and they weren't creeped out.
-Whitney plays the "my parents are dead" card and convinces Chris's sisters to love her.
-During the Whitney date, all Chris can talk to his family about is how "awesome" and "pretty cool" Becca is, despite the fact that I find her more boring than a potato.
-Whoa, Chris's mom is a very "handsome" woman.
And I’m back! When I turn it on, Chris is in a room with his dad, his brothers-in-law (brother-in-laws? I think it’s the first one), maybe some of his buddies, and 700 power drills. Nothing really happens. After that, everyone goes back into the house, where maybe 14 sisters and infinity children are all upset that Chris has no clarity. But he does have a liking for Becca’s sense of humor, because she’s never told a joke, but MIGHT know who Martin Short is. And that’s that.