Photo: Jaimie Trueblood, courtesy of Paramount Pictures
Each week, Thrillist's crack team of scientists is doing extensive research so you know exactly how many pre-show beers you'll need to make the most of your time at the multiplex. Also out, Stephanie Meyer's The Host… which your girlfriend totally wants to see, so buy some Jager.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Who's in it:
Dwayne "Seriously, Please Stop Calling Me The Rock" Johnson, Magic Mike, Bruce Willis, Adrianne Palicki's cleavage, Ninjas
What it is:
The second installment of gigantic, sinewy dudes playing the tiny, plastic dudes you used to play with (and maybe still do). This time, Cobra takes over the White House (this is becoming a thing this year), and it's up to Roadblock (The Rock), Duke (Channing Tatum), Snake Eyes (Darth Maul), and the original Joe (Bruce Willis) to stop them. Also: Ninjas.
Beerometer Rating: 6
Nobody accused the first flick of aspiring to any sort of intelligence, so expect more of the same here. Lots of cool vehicles. Lots of Adrianne Palicki bouncing. Lots of one-liners. Lots of gunfire. And lots of ninjas (including The RZA) fighting each other while scaling Himalayan cliffs. That said, the less brainpower you bring to the show, the better, and a sixer should do the trick. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.