There's a scene in The Outsider, Netflix's tepid crime thriller riffing on Japanese yakuza films, where a gangster approaches Jared Leto's stoic anti-hero and compliments his appearance. More specifically, he says Leto, possessor of cheekbones possibly forged on the sides of mountains and skin likely moisturized with fresh infant tears, has a "cute face" and compares him to a "little white kitten." Later, someone says to Leto, "Your skin is so soft -- should I lick it?" These exchanges speak to a fundamental truth we all know by now: Jared Leto is a very, very hot man.
Unfortunately, The Outsider is a dull vehicle for that hotness. Arriving mere months after Netflix's last movie-star-driven project, the cops-vs-magical-creatures action saga Bright, The Outsider is actually worse than that Will Smith trainwreck, which was widely derided by critics as one of the worst movies of last year. (Audiences seemed to enjoy it more: Bright 2 is currently in the works.) Where Bright at least had a meat-headed sense of humor to go with its unearned sense of self-importance, The Outsider is needlessly cruel, dour, and slow. No amount of brooding from a handsome leading man can save it.