The Greedy and Selfish
The couple who brought their kid when the invite clearly said “no kids”
What kind of lesson are you teaching your rugrat about the importance of reading?
Anyone who throws a dry wedding
Your personal convictions have ensured that no one will attend your other daughters’ weddings.
The guest who wears a white dress
THIS ISN’T YOUR SPECIAL DAY, ELIZABETH.
The guy who wears a tux when the invite said he didn’t have to
THIS ISN’T YOUR SPECIAL DAY, STEVEN.
The guy stalking the server’s entrance for first dibs on all passed apps
Everyone deserves a bacon-wrapped scallop.
The girl who starts every conversation with "at our wedding"
We clearly weren’t at your wedding so quit telling us about all the inspired touches we’ll tragically never get to appreciate firsthand.
The Monopoly Man
The friend who sees the wedding as a reunion and corners the groom as he’s trying to make the rounds with 200 other people he hasn’t seen in years.