It's 2am and you're getting a ride back from the bar via Uber, everyone's favorite ridesharing app (unless a Lyft is closer). And since it's late and you've knocked a couple back, you're talking freely into your phone and to your date next to you. Hell, you're even talking to your driver as if it's a private conversation between you and your therapist. But your driver doesn't recognize confidentiality, and, while he could just end his night by going to a bar and telling his friends the worst stuff you've been saying, instead he's tweeting it on @UberPassengers. This is your Uber driver's revenge for having to listen to your crap.
Your boobs are 100% authentically fake
Dress to Impress With These Animated Ugly Christmas Sweaters
Hey, even an armed robbery kind of job is a job
But you also make porn... ?
The Illuminati must be involved too
Daddy definitely went out for cigarettes and never came back
Sharing sexts does not get you a free ride
It's important to acknowledge who supports your gaming addictions
It's not the quantity of the tears that concerns me
Spoken like a man on his fifth marriage
Crimson's such a stuck-up son of a bitch
It's important to question how you'll get to jail before the arrest
Do you know how Uber works?
We just thought you had a friend named Jesse
We're not convinced you didn't smoke before the ride
Generous snobs are the best kind
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Lee Breslouer is a senior writer for Thrillist, and will never trust an Uber driver again. Follow him to taxicab confessions at @LeeBreslouer.