It's 2am and you're getting a ride back from the bar via Uber, everyone's favorite ridesharing app (unless a Lyft is closer). And since it's late and you've knocked a couple back, you're talking freely into your phone and to your date next to you. Hell, you're even talking to your driver as if it's a private conversation between you and your therapist. But your driver doesn't recognize confidentiality, and, while he could just end his night by going to a bar and telling his friends the worst stuff you've been saying, instead he's tweeting it on @UberPassengers. This is your Uber driver's revenge for having to listen to your crap.
Your boobs are 100% authentically fake
This Plane Made An Emergency Landing Due To Farting
Hey, even an armed robbery kind of job is a job
But you also make porn... ?
The Illuminati must be involved too
Daddy definitely went out for cigarettes and never came back
Sharing sexts does not get you a free ride
It's important to acknowledge who supports your gaming addictions
It's not the quantity of the tears that concerns me
Spoken like a man on his fifth marriage
Crimson's such a stuck-up son of a bitch
It's important to question how you'll get to jail before the arrest
Do you know how Uber works?
We just thought you had a friend named Jesse
We're not convinced you didn't smoke before the ride
Generous snobs are the best kind
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Lee Breslouer is a senior writer for Thrillist, and will never trust an Uber driver again. Follow him to taxicab confessions at @LeeBreslouer.