As much as we love to complain about the line at the Starbucks drive-thru being so damn long, you’d be hard pressed to find anybody -- short of, maybe, Edward Snowden -- who's not proud to be an American.
But in a country that’s made up of people from everywhere, it’s hard to pin down exactly what makes someone an American; you know, other than a reflexive inclination to sing along with that Lee Greenwood song from Desert Storm. Which is why we tried to figure it out, and in the process came up with this handy checklist of 22 things that, if completed, should technically get you into the fast line at customs when you land at JFK.
Put something you don’t need on a credit card
Sure, you bounced your last rent check and your six-month-old iPhone works perfectly fine, but can you really put a price on the humiliation of being the only guy in the office with a "5"?
Drive an SUV
And not one of those sissy hybrid ones that gets better gas mileage than a Kia. Anything over 20mpg, and you’re basically European.