After the Hindenburg opening, Timeless jumps back to the present, where we meet history professor Lucy Preston (Rectify's Abigail Spencer), the type of cool and brilliant teacher who entertains her students with stories about LBJ whipping out his genitalia, which apparently he called his "jumbo." (Again, not kidding about the dick jokes.) After that, we meet her boyfriend, who works as an administrator at the college and says ominous, pilot-mandated things like, "We have news from the tenure committee. You're not going to like it." He doesn't even get to make a jumbo joke before we're whisked off to Lucy's home, where we meet her podcast-hosting spark plug of a sister and her Snickers-loving comatose mom.
Then, just as we're getting settled into this family life, we see the impeccably named bad guy Garcia Flynn (ER veteran Goran Višnjić) steal a time machine, which suspiciously resembles the CBS logo, from a science lab that was about to celebrate Taco Tuesday, one of the other quirky lines of dialogue the show tries to cram into an otherwise feverish series of expository exchanges. Keep in mind: everything I've described so far -- the Hindenburg, the college lecture, the scene at the home, and the theft of a time machine on Taco Tuesday -- takes place in less than seven minutes of screen time. You might even say Timeless wastes no… goddammit... time.