They’re beating teenage prostitutes right under Denzel Washington's nose. They're strong-arming Bradley Cooper for mind-altering drugs. They're hijacking the president's plane. They're killing Keanu Reeves' dog. They're blowing up suburban homes with goddamn bazookas, because the very existence of wholesome American children enrages them.
Who are they? They are the Russians, Hollywood's eternal enemy.
Movies have many preferred punching bags, but for decades, Mother Russia has been at the top of the list. Need to communicate evil in five seconds? Have an intimidating guy with a cigarette step out of the shadows and say, "Da." Your work is done.
This may seem ludicrous, considering the Cold War has been over for 24 years, but the numbers don’t lie. Since 2010 alone, Russian bad guys have appeared in such action flicks as John Wick, The Equalizer, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, The November Man, A Good Day to Die Hard, Jack Reacher, Limitless, Salt, The Drop, and The Tourist. Hell, even The Muppets piled on with Tina Fey's gulag guard in Muppets Most Wanted. And this month we have two more: the Casey Affleck vehicle Triple 9, featuring the Russian mob, and Zoolander 2, featuring what appears to be a Russian Kristen Wiig.