The best sketch of Saturday Night Live’s remarkably dreary Season 45 premiere had nothing to do with politics. (Please stop the Trump impressions -- our families are dying.) Instead, the episode's final sketch takes us to an apple-picking farm owned by sisters played by Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant, who spend the "commercial" sending up the time-honored autumn tradition that's actually kind of dystopian, when you think about it. "For just 45 dollars," says McKinnon's character, "you can bring home ten dollars worth of apples." What a deal!
At this particular apple-picking farm, you can choose between many apple varieties, such as Tiny Hard, Huge Soft, or, simply, Apple. "What our apples lack in flavor," says Bryant's character, "they make up for in 'on the ground.'" The whole farm is overseen by farmhand Hank (Woody Harrelson), who is paid in dentistry and promises to take you to "the one tree that's working this year." At least there's a petting zoo! "We found some animals, and now they're in prison!" explains Hank, while standing next to a corralled donkey.
Reminder: fall apples can also be purchased at the grocery store, and you know how we at Thrillist feel about them.