As someone whose job is basically to eat Korean chicken wings and then write about how good they are, I’ll readily admit there are times when I’ve crossed the line from waxing poetic about food into just beating metaphors out of a dead horse (metaphorically of course). Anybody who’s written about restaurants for a living has surely fallen prey to dull, empty language from time to time. Even Anthony Bourdain has typed the phrase “cornucopia of flavor” at some point. But then he hurled his laptop out of a train window in disappointment. These are the 17 food-writing cliches currently circulating that hurt our eyes -- and souls -- to have to read.
When describing something that’s meant to be eaten, it’s a good rule of thumb to steer away from language that a dermatologist would use to describe a boil. As barf-inducing as these two words are apart, the frequency in which they’re used together is even more disturbing. If I read “this burger oozes with gooey cheese” ever again, it had better be as part of an incantation to ban that sentence from ever being written in the future.
Intimate dining area
The ambiance of a restaurant can be romantic, sure. I even have a waning tolerance for spots feeling “cozy” -- even though restaurants are not sweatpants -- but in no way is the dimly lit booth where you’re about to take down 2lbs of fettuccine Alfredo an intimate (i.e. carnal) experience. If you mean to imply that the space is private, secluded, or comfortable, then just say so. Save “intimate” for naked old people holding hands in outdoor tubs during boner pill commercials.
Remember during the early 2000s when people thought is was appropriate to say chips or cupcakes were "like crack"? Food writers still do that today, just with the word "addictive" instead. Pies are not addictive. Bob Saget never s’d d’s for pies.