Some things are better left unsaid, like that time you asked your boss's wife when her baby was due, which was embarrassing, considering the doctor told you both just yesterday. Saying them anyway in an effort to abort the Internet's worst offspring, Never Said About Restaurant Websites.
Launched just before the New Year, this passive-aggressively awesome Tumblr skewers the loads of horrible restaurant websites, offering up facetious quotes that praise bandwidth-sucking splash pages, broken links, outdated essentials, and music that blasts as soon as the site loads, also, in other circumstances, a totally different phenomenon that's actually quite nice. Some of the highlights:
"I love downloading PDFs. Even if the menu is totally out of date, it's worth the thrill."
"I enjoy clicking on separate menu links to view the Appetizers, Salads, Meat Entrees, Fish Entrees, Pastas, and Desserts."
Totally Worthwhile Verbiage
"I want to know more about the personal life of the person who is preparing my food."
"I wish this website would devote a lot more space and effort to a 'welcome to this website' paragraph that no one will ever read instead of prominently listing their hours of operation."
"Why would anyone want to skip this intro? I think I'll watch it again."
And because they have a heart, the folks behind NSARW have also posted a "How to make a less horrible restaurant website" tutorial with four simple steps to ensure your next online resto presence doesn't suck, much like your boss's wife, which is partially why you're in this terribly awkward scenario in the first place.