12. My hometown gets really hot in summer. New Orleans can’t be that much worse.
Yeah it is, and it might end you if you don’t have a proper hydration regimen (and that, naturally, means cocktails inside, in the conditioned air).
13. Metairie is terrible. Who would ever want to go there?
You, if you want to find some great restaurants that don’t have an equal in Orleans Parish (the original Drago’s location, R & O, Parran’s Po-Boys, etc.). That also applies to the West Bank, too.