The Thrillist Guide to the French Quarter

Jackson Square New Orleans
New Orleans

The Thrillist Guide to the French Quarter
The Thrillist Guide to the French Quarter

Scott Gold
Scott Gold

Also known as the “Vieux Carré”, the French Quarter in New Orleans is one of the oldest and most well-known neighborhoods in America, pre-dating the actual country by almost 60yrs (1718, to be specific, courtesy of amazingly named Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville. History!). Sadly, these days it might be more well known for its rep as a playground for besotted meatheads and a beads-for-boobs Mardi Gras economy than for its rich heritage and incredible food. But you don’t have to be that guy. So if you’re looking to truly get the most out of the French Quarter, here are your best bets.

Scott Gold

Haters: Spend every waking hour in cargo shorts and mandals.
Players: Pack a good suit.

Yeah, we get it: it’s hot here. You’re basically in the tropics, after all -- it’s only natural to want to keep from melting where you stand because of the ridiculous temperature and humidity, even in months like November. But if you don’t have at least one decent suit in your suitcase, you’ll miss out on some of the best damned cuisine in the world, particularly at grande dame eateries that have been open for well over a century, like Galatoire’s, Arnaud’s, and Antoine’s, which require a little class (if only just a jacket and a respectable pair of shoes). It’s also a good reason to bust out the linen or seersucker and look like a suave-ass Southern charmer. In season, of course.

Flickr / JasonParis

Dopes: Get hooked on frozen daiquiris, syrupy drinks, and HUGE ASS BEERS.
Dudes: Explore the cocktail culture.

One look down Bourbon Street, and you’ll find Hand Grenades, Hurricanes, boozy daiquiris, Shark Attacks, and god-knows-what-that-is, but it’s bright blue and served in a test tube. Not to mention the availability of HUGE ASS BEERS. Maybe you want to sample one or several of these things for novelty, and that’s fine. It can be fun. But do yourself a favor and explore cocktails in the city that invented the cocktail. Think about the Sazerac, the the Ramos Fizz, the French 75, and bourbon milk punch. For the real deal, here’s an excellent list of the best New Orleans cocktails and where to find them.

Mother's Restaurant

Ravenous fools: Decide to eat just anywhere.
Hungry geniuses: Make a culinary plan/map.

The French Quarter is packed with fantastic restaurants, both high-end (see above) and casual. Odds are, you’re going to eat well in this town. That said, there are also plenty of places that make the rent by swindling suckers out of their rightful NOLA food experience by serving sub-par fare. Don’t expect every po-boy shop to be the bomb, just because it happens to be in the Quarter (make sure to hit Killer Poboys, Mother’s or Verti Marte, by the way). If you want oysters the right way, for example, here’s a great start for you.

Wikipedia / Poco a poco

Tools: Think that shops selling hot sauce, ball caps, and alligator skulls represent New Orleans “culture”.
Cools: Spend a day touring the real historic hotspots.

New Orleans has been here, for good or ill, for almost 300yrs, which for the USA, is a pretty long time. And a lot of our historical gumbo is well represented in the French Quarter’s art, architecture and museums, many of which you can check out for free. A short list of cool places worth your time would definitely include Jackson Square and the St. Louis Cathedral, the Old US Mint, the Cabildo, the Pharmacy Museum, the Old Ursuline Convent, and The New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park. And that’s just for starters. You can stroll the levee and take in the majesty of the Mississippi River, or, at the very least, wander the Quarter and get an eyeful of the amazing architecture. And you can do it while legally carrying a drink around outside! Woo hoo!

Flickr / nate ellison

Neanderthals: Wear matching themed T-shirts and store-bought beads.
Super-humans: Do anything else.

Seriously. The photo of your group wearing those “Drunk #1” through “Drunk #7” shirts and Mardi Gras beads, while holding a plastic yard of booze and laughing at your friend vomiting in the gutter will wind up on the Internet and eventually come back to haunt you. This is an immutable universal fact.

Flickr / Nate Steiner

Don’t: Not know “where you got dem shoes”.
Do: Know “where you got dem shoes”.

They are on your feet, in New Orleans, Louisiana. There, you just saved anywhere from five to 40 dollars, depending on how gullible/drunk you are. You’re welcome.

Flickr / Kaylin Idora Photography

One-track minds: Get sucked into a shady strip joint by sketchy carnival barkers on Bourbon St.
Next-level thinkers: Check out some authentic burlesque.

When you're on vacation in NOLA and you've been downtown taking in their colorful libations all day, the temptation to see a little pink is perfectly understandable, and lord knows you have plenty of options. But like the food in the French Quarter, not all gentlemen's clubs serve up the good stuff. Instead of a sad, thread-worn joint that needs a scary carny to reel in rubes, do yourself a favor and head to a classier operation for some serious burlesque action. A good bet is always the FREE Burlesque Ballroom show on Friday nights at Irvin Mayfield's Jazz Playhouse.

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1. Arnaud's Restaurant 813 Bienville St, New Orleans, LA 70112 (French Quarter)

Arnaud’s is a decades-old French Quarter staple that embodies the French Creole style in architecture, décor, and, of course, food. Inside the red building lined with innumerable French windows and a second-story balcony ornamented with mint green railing and shutters is a dining room straight out of a southern novel, with potted palm fronds, mosaic tile floors, and opulent chandeliers. Come for dinner or for the jazz brunch, where a jazz trio will serenade you while you decide among the menu’s Cajun and Creole items, from gumbo to crab cakes to shrimp remoulade.

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2. Galatoire's 209 Bourbon St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (French Quarter)

Established in 1905, Bourbon Steet fixture Galatoire's is all about re-creating old-timey antebellum New Orleans ambiance through classic French Creole cuisine. Jackets are required dress code when dining at this high-end traditional establishment. However, you won't feel overdressed; the waiters are all suited in tuxedos. With more than 2,000 square feet of luxurious space, Galatoire's has three floors: the first being the main dining room, the second (able to accommodate over 250 people) meant for larger special events, and the third is home to a smaller private dining area.

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3. Antoine's Restaurant 713 Saint Louis St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (French Quarter)

Opened in 1840, this classical and elegant St. Louis Street restaurant features 14 uniquely-styled dining rooms in which to enjoy French-Creole cuisine. It is in its 5th generation of family ownership, passed down from founder Antoine Alciatore. Dinner is an elegant and delicious ordeal, and you'll be dining where dozens of famous people have feasted before you, their photos now lining the walls. There's room for 700+ guests all dressed in formal attire so, what can we say, laissez les bons temps rouler!

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4. Steak Pit 609 Bourbon St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (French Quarter)

The Steak Pit is the official home of the famous Huge Ass Beers, as well well as some pretty huge burgers and other food and drink

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5. Killer Poboys 811 Conti St, New Orleans, LA 70112 (French Quarter)

Killer Poboys serves high-quality, creative, yet faithful-to-the-core concept po-boys out of the tiny kitchen in the Erin Rose on Conti Street. Head towards the back of Erin's and order standouts such as the BBQ chicken confit, “Black Beer” beef debris, or a chorizo & egg breakfast po-boy at the small (cash only) counter.

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6. Mother's Restaurant 401 Poydras St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (Central Business District)

Famous for their po-boys and jambalaya, Mother's has been specializing in authentic New Orleans-style cooking since it opened its doors in 1938.

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7. Verti Marte 1201 Royal St, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

A beloved 24-hour deli and sandwich shop is housed in the back of a small, unassuming grocery store on a quint street typical of the French Quarter. Verti Marte has earned a devoted following of night owls for their commitment to the all-important Louisiana food staple, the po’ boy, that baguette-like sandwich filled with meat and fried seafood. Their notably messy, calorie-packing takes include the must-try All That Jazz (shrimp and mushrooms get sautéed in Creole mustard before being piled onto ham, turkey, tomatoes and layered with Swiss and American cheeses and proprietary “WOW” sauce), in addition to plates of chicken-fried steaks, breakfast sandwiches and daily specials. They deliver, but you may want to budget in some time for a walk to pick up one of these monolithic po’ boys yourself.

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8. Jackson Square 745 Decatur St, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

Originally known in the 18th century as "Place d'Armes", Jackson Square is one of the major historical tourist attractions of New Orleans.

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9. St. Louis Cathedral 615 Pere Antoine Aly, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

Located at Jackson Square, St. Louis Cathedral is the oldest Catholic cathedral in continual use in the United States.

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10. Old US Mint 400 Esplanade Ave, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

The Old US Mint holds the title of being the only mint to produce American and Confederate coinage, and is now a National Historic Landmark and museum.

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11. The Cabildo 701 Place John Paul Deaux, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

A National Historic Landmark, the Cabildo was built under Spanish rule between 1795-1799 and faces the historic Jackson Square in the French Quarter.

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12. New Orleans Pharmacy Museum 514 Chartres St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (French Quarter)

If you're in the mood for some old time New Orleans history, the Pharmacy Museum will cure what ails ya, with extensive exhibits showcasing healthcare in Louisiana.

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13. Old Ursuline Convent 1100 Chartres St, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

The Old Ursuline Convent is the oldest building in the Mississippi Valley, with its construction reaching completion in 1753.

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14. New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park 916 N Peters St, New Orleans, LA 70116 (French Quarter)

Created in 1994 to celebrate the origins of jazz, the New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park is a must-visit sight for American music and history lovers.

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15. Irvin Mayfield’s Jazz Playhouse 300 Bourbon St, New Orleans, LA 70130 (French Quarter)

Located in the Royal Sonesta Hotel on Bourbon St, Irvin Mayfield's always has entertaining live shows, including ones of the burlesque variety.