We're all entitled to our opinions, unless we're a terrible person and we're posting ridiculous opinions on Yelp, which's why we took to the internet aggregator of knee-jerk reactions and hyperbole and found 11 of the most unfair one-star reviews of some of the consensus-best places in NYC.
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Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Craft Little-known fact: Tom Colicchio actually sourced these plates from an artisanal elephant donkey-puncher. Good eye, Yelper, good eye.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: The Dead Rabbit Note to bar owners everywhere: if you don't want a one-star review on Yelp, always -- ALWAYS -- have some Cosmos on hand.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Roberta's YES! Let's boycott everyone that won't serve us after they've closed, like those fat cat restaurants in Manhattan. LET THE RATS ROAM FREEEEEEEE.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Masa What you may have been looking for is something called a "Teriyaki Boy". Also, we think you're gonna be pretty disappointed about how much they charge for sushi at Whole Foods, too.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Le Bernardin While it's tooootallly plausible that Eric Ripert wrote over 1,000 positive reviews and you shouldn't trust them, we're thinking maybe this guy just sort of missed the point here.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing:Death & Co. They're right. In old-New York, nobody ever tried to be cool, they were mostly just trying not to get mugged.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: momofuku ssäm bar In order to get two stars, you must A) blow this guy's mind, B) not be too expensive, and C) have totally cool music. That's the bar just to get past one. On the plus side, if you're a young banker, now you know where to blow your bonus.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Peter Luger Steakhouse Although we enjoy their steaks, their burger, and the general air of one of NY's most classic institutions, we are willing to agree that bread is pretty much the best part of every meal ever... so at least there's that.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Pok Pok Sorry Pok Pok, it sounds like the cast of Clueless does not appreciate hipsters, awesome wings, and they are also possibly allergic to chilis.
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: Betony You're right, anonymous internet user: we should all be taking your advice over The New York Times or NY Mag, although they probably would appreciate your love of semantics. Beware, people looking for snacks!
Great Place This Person Is Reviewing: The Spotted Pig Oh no! Jay and Bey are going to be heartbroken when they hear you don't want to hang with them :(
Andrew Zimmer is Thrillist's NYC Editor, and as a rule, only goes to the Duane Reade's that have five stars on Yelp. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.