Become a MetroCard-swiping master
If you can’t master that single, perfect swiping motion, you’re not allowed to use the subway from 8am-10am and 4pm-8pm.
Avoid big chain restaurants, especially anything near Times Square
You can’t swing a dead sewer gator in this town without hitting an amazing independent restaurant. You’re doing yourself a real disservice if you stick to Applebee’s, Sbarro, etc.
If you think it's fun to complain about NYC while you're here, please go home
Oh boy, it sure is crowded/expensive/noisy/mean here, huh? Not like your paradise back home. Sounds like you’d be much happier if you were back there. We sure as hell would be.
Manning Leonard Krull is a Thrillist contributor and has the single, perfect swiping motion. Ask him for lessons on Twitter, plus check out BadAtNewYork.com.