18. No, the Hamptons aren't “right there”
They're actually extremely far away, and when you get there, everything somehow costs more than it did in the city.
19. Don’t talk to us about the Knicks
We’ll bring it up when we’re ready.
20. We find absolutely nothing weird about buying groceries at a bodega
What? Where else can you buy three eggs, an extension cord, and a tallboy at 11pm?
21. Watch out for street-corner slush lakes
They may look like solid ground, but sink into one ankle-deep, and your day is basically over.
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