How Count Chocula drowns his sorrows

Just out of an experimental phase that saw it considering the Peace Corps but ultimately just having lots of sketchy boyfriends, King's County Chocolate Whiskey is a limited-production, imminently drinkable spirit whose richly bitter flavor comes from actual leftover Mast Bros Chocolate Factory husks used in the distillation. Instead of taking consumption cues from LMFAO, why not trust Thrillist's house bartender Nick Bennett (of Booker & Dax and Amor y Amargo), who'll show you how to drink the brand-new brown

Sip Neat: The aroma is raw chocolatey chocolate, but that "belies a bitter flavor" combined with the moonshine's corn and cereal notes, another good reason you'll want to milk it for a while. Will Remind You Of: Tay Zonday, for its essential chocolateness and the fact that if you have too much of it you'll be very confused

The Classic Cocktail: This take on a Vieux Carre is a great vehicle for KCCW because the Cognac smooths the bitterness while orange-flavored Mandarine Napoleon (a nod to the Napolean House and the VC's French Quarter roots) makes it generally a little sweeter. Will Remind You Of: Chocolat Johnny Depp, because underneath the French exoticness lurks a 1985 spring-break movie called Private Resort

The Original: Inspired by the Mast Bros spicy chocolate bar, this simply made stirred number owes its smoothness to the dark creme de cacao and Barenjager honey liqueur, and its spiciness to the chipotle vodka. Will Remind You Of: British disco band Hot Chocolate, whose "Sexy Thing" was sweet, but whose staunch refusal to ever button their shirts was spicy.