People Complaining That LA "Used To Be Cool"
An important part of living in Brooklyn is judging other people for also living in Brooklyn. The most effective way to do this has traditionally been to condescendingly proclaim that, while Brooklyn was once "authentic" and "gritty" and "not commercialized" (when you were savvy enough to move there), it lost all its personality when everyone else arrived.
You're right, Los Angeles: This is duplicitous, obnoxious, and more cognitively dissonant than, say, knowing about your record-breaking drought and moving there anyway. (More on that in a minute.) Now enivision how mind-numbingly irritating it will be when Brooklyn's sociopathic gentrifiers relocates to Silver Lake and start saying the same thing as they price you -- who lived here when it was actually cool -- out of the neighborhood.
Got that mental image? OK, now you have a sense for the soul-crushingly bitter social cancer headed your way. I would wish you luck, LA, but it won't save you if this NY Times "trend" turns into a real migratory pattern.
I hate you, LA, but I can't help but feel bad for you this time. You're coming off the worst drought in modern history, headed into a formidable wildfire season, and the paper of record is telling New York's "creatives" to fetishize you as a a lush westward oasis covered in affordable housing, outdoor dinner parties with those stupid hang-y string lights, and thriving opportunity. It's a raw deal.
On the upside, if everyone leaves, maybe I'll be able to afford Brooklyn for a few more years. Better you than me, Los Angeles. Better you than me.
Dave Infante is a senior writer for Thrillist, and while he may someday leave Brooklyn, it won't be for LA. Follow @dinfontay on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.