Manhattan vs. Brooklyn. Which's the better borough?
It's City Rivalry Week here at Thrillist. But deciding NYC's foe was actually pretty tough. Boston? That's just bullying. LA is pretty much one giant punchline about traffic and kale. See, even its punchlines are terrible. Chicago? C'mon, just look at the name of your famous comedy club. You've already admitted defeat!! So we decided to look inside for rivals. And so, we present: Brooklyn vs. Manhattan.
The Reasons Why Manhattan Is Still The Greatest Borough In The World (Which Admittedly Doesn't Have All That Many Boroughs), by Ben Robinson
Ben has resided in the East Village for the past nine years, and, although he once bought a Keith Hernandez Starting Lineup dude from Brooklyn Flea, that hasn't been enough for him to move there.
- Shake Shack Count. Manhattan: 5. Brooklyn: 1. So, you’re even with the Roosevelt Field Mall in Westbury, home of spontaneous Justin Bieber riots. Look it up.
- There’s not a single iconic skyscraper a single person in Brooklyn can name, while some guy named Jaakoppi from Finland knows at least three in Manhattan.
- Manhattan isn’t PART OF LONG ISLAND. Stop trying to hide it.
- Isn't it funny how the food at Smorgasburg tastes so much better in the air conditioning at the Bowery Whole Foods?
- If Manhattan fell into the sea, 70% of Brooklyn suddenly wouldn’t have a job. The other 30% never did.
- Walking between neighborhoods in Manhattan is totally doable! Walking between neighborhoods in Brooklyn is known as “calling the car service”.
- The G train? THE G TRAIN?!? Hahahahahaha.
- Remember when the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were still a struggling new act living in that loft in Bushwick? Yeah, you don't, because they were living in a loft in Manhattan. Brooklyn doesn't even have lofts.
- You are legally allowed to live in Manhattan without being in possession of a dog, child, or trilby hat. Two of those require a lot of responsibility!
- It’s great that Brooklyn is so wide open it feels like you could own a car, but neither the food nor your apartment is actually cheaper by any meaningful measure, so you will never own that car.
- Jay-Z bought .01% of a crappy basketball team in Brooklyn. He bought 100% of a not-crappy penthouse in Manhattan.
Where Brooklyn At? It's Southeast Of The Second-Best Borough In NYC, By Andrew ZimmerAndrew currently calls Williamsburg home, and, although all his friends and his job are in Manhattan, even that is not enough to fight the pull of an apartment across the street from a place where they make all their sandwiches out of waffles.
- Brooklyn has fewer tourists, and fewer people walking incredibly slow on the sidewalks who will think you're mean because you accidentally brushed against their Hollister bag.
- Manhattan restaurants "import" products from Brooklyn, then brag about it.
- The Knicks are a perennial disappointment. The Nets may not be world-beaters either, but at least everyone can agree they have way better hats.
- Maybe not by as much as it used to be, but the rent is still lower.
- There's a significantly smaller influx of New Jersyians on the weekends; it's basically impossible to get to Brooklyn from Hoboken.
- Literally every single bar and restaurant in Brooklyn has some sort of outdoor space; in Manhattan, the second any place with a rooftop opens, it's flooded with a million dudes sweating through their rumpled Men's Warehouse suits who don't even like the way they look, despite the guarantee.
- All of the people that make all of your restaurants and bars cool -- despite the lack of outdoor space! -- live in Brooklyn.
- There's less constant, grating construction. If your Manhattan apartment or office building didn't have scaffolding around it when you started reading this sentence, it does now.
- You can't even see your own skyline, which is admittedly amazing.
- You don't have any slogans when you depart Manhattan as cool as: "Leaving Brooklyn. Oy vey!"