11 talking points to help you survive Xmas dinner with your awful family
There's a high probability that during the holidays you'll be at the dinner table, with your awful family, and there'll be a lull in the conversation. Probably because your Aunt Margaret interrupted your Candy Crush-ing to ask why you don't have any kids yet, or wives, or girlfriends, or f-buddies... and it's at that moment that you'll wish you A) did have f-buddies, and B) had a perfectly planned off-topic topic you could spring up at exactly that moment. To wit...
1. Governors Island/ Domino Sugar Refinery and general development around the city
Talking Points: Did you hear they're building a section with, like, 300 trees totally lined with a bunch of hammocks called Hammock Grove? Or that Domino is probably going to be luxury condos even though it's a really cool old building? Or literally anything about Hudson Yards? Is that almost finished or what?
2. New Mayor Bill de Blasio
Talking Points: His pre-k funding plan is fascinating, his after-school initiatives are top-notch, and... he's as tall or taller than five players on the Knicks roster.
3. Hot dog carts in Washington Square
Talking Points: They're thinking of banning them. I've never actually had one there but it seems wrong to ban NY street dogs from anything.
Talking Points: Sorry man, but your present this year is just a bunch of pat-on-the-back coupons. Literally all my money goes to rent, unfortunately. Next time you're in the neighborhood though, you can totally sleep on my single air mattress at the foot of my love seat, though.
5. The Wolf of Wall Street
Talking Points: We could see it, but it'll probably be too crowded. Plus, if we see anything, it should maybe probably definitely be Justin Bieber's Believe.
6. Citi Bikes
Talking Points: These are gonna work in the snow, right?
7. The Knicks
Talking Points: Suck.
8. The Giants
Talking Points: Also suck. Strahan still seems like he's in shape though, right?
Talking Points: [Continue Candy Crush-ing]
10. Jay-Z being a vegan
Talking Points: How is he going to take part in pretty much any of the food at Barclay's Center?
11. That whole Brooklyn thing
Talking Points: You see, Mom, it's like the East Village used to be, except more sprawling, and with less drugs.