5. Spending time apart
As much as you love the closeness/intimacy/range of new smells that come with living with a boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes you need your space. But when you live with a significant other, all of your hours are accounted for. All of them. A common argument among couples the world over, New York’s couples get a special blend. Most other places in America, if someone in the relationship is out past 4am, that’s an instant fight... because absolutely nothing is open past 2, so seriously where the hell were you? In New York? The party can easily rage 'til 4, and if you know a sweet after-hours spot or anywhere that serves food 24 hours, you can often be looking at a night that doesn’t end until after lunch the next day. You’d think a text that says, "Baby I’ll be home at 5am" would be comforting... but it’s not.
6. Yankees vs. Mets... you know, for the sake of the kids
Fuck the Yankees.
7. Hamptons vs. Jersey Shore
A dry Chardonnay or salt on the rim? Grilled lobster or burgers and fries? Cocktail hour with Martha Stewart or shots with Snooki? It’s almost summer, and you and your SO better figure this out immediately.
What’s the rush? We’re only 36. Relax. My mom still pays my phone bill and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
9. NYC vs. 'burbs
I literally have no response to this. Except that if you don’t know the winner of this fight then Westchester, Nassau, Fairfield, or Bergen counties can gladly have you. Let your SO find someone with better sense.
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Meagan Drillinger is a freelance writer for Thrillist. Fuck the Yankees. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at @drillinjourneys.