Fine Wines And Insane Clown Posses
When we asked Executive Editor In Charge Of Various Things David Blend to document his existence, he thought, "Sweet, I don't have to write words anymore." So, like in that Jim Carrey or possibly Steve Carell movie, he started saying "yes" to everything, just to be sure he'd have plenty of existence to document. Here's how his two weeks went:
The very first shot I took was of our video guy, but he made an obscene gesture because he's from both New Jersey and the part of England that decided it was time to stop being polite and start being real uncool when somebody's trying to take your picture. So...
... here's this dude and his awesome remote-powered monster truck skateboard, which he's actually trying to sell, so inquire if interested.
Took the train to eat Italian in Scarsdale. Our cab driver Jan de Man is a rock vocalist who just missed the cut to be the singer for Jan Hammer's band. Jan Hammer did the theme for Miami Vice, which does not have singing in it.
Tony's been tossing dough for the Racanelli family for 40yrs -- mostly for Pizza and Brew, and now for Racanelli's.
Not Tony's handiwork.
Went to a tasting for this rare cask of Louis XIII Cognac, which costs $22,000. Had to leave for a meeting before the tasting part of the tasting.
Was SUPER-DEPRESSED about my fancy Cognac fail until these dudes headed for the New Museum's Ideas City Festival perked me back up. They're dressed as "Autumn".
Kentucky Derby Day lunch at Lobo in Coble Hill. You used to have to walk upstairs and then back down to get to the back patio. Now you don't. It's very confusing.
The name of this dish is pretty straightforward though: The Tex-Mex Heart Attack.
"Hey, nice man-purse!" "Hey, nice job popping off right before my hot girlfriend walks up and takes her purse back."
This guy gets hired approximately one day per year, but the horse works full-time at Skadden.
Thrillist's Cinco de Mayo party. Some of the tacos were bigger than others.
We gave this belt to Best Taco winner Tequila Park. They seemed more interested in the person who handed the belt over.
"So, do you want to be in this story?" "Of course I want to be in this story."
This is the world's first hot dog chimichanga, from Los Perros Locos. It might sound locos, but it tasted locos good. That means "crazy good".
The walk to work. This piece of streetza is the best evidence yet of the Bigfoot-like creature who only eats the crust.
Does this make getting run over better or worse?
The dude who runs this place spends four months out of the year snowboarding. Zombies hate the cold.
Not a morning person. Or a person.
I was hoping to make an industrially inspired communal table out of this, but I guess people just aren't throwing away stuff worth reclaiming anymore...
Or are they? Free glass!
Wine Enthusiast magazine's 25th anniversary Red and White Bash. This guy also produces a ballet called Naughty Nutcracker. The reviews are actually really good.
Aerialists. Not in this picture though.
This is not a very effective curtain.
Stopped by a liquor store on 58th St. This is actually a bottle of vodka. Louis Vuittodka?
Going to all this stuff instead of staying at home watching Nashville is exhausting. Are you also pleasantly surprised by Hayden Panettiere's singing?
Stopped by New Haven's Louis' Lunch on the way to see Insane Clown Posse in Hartford. Hey, I said I'd say yes to everything.
Their "hamburger sandwich" hasn't changed since they invented it in 1895.
Neither has Kung Fu Vampire, because vampires don't change. That's why they're vampires.
This part of the concert was scary.
BUT THIS PART OF THE CONCERT WAS AWESOME. This is Faygo Armageddon, when Juggalos get to hop on stage and spray the crowd with diet root beer. It's pretty much the best time ever.
Although some people think it leaves you too soaking wet to hug.
Queso instead of grated cheddar is what innovation is all about.
Former Longhorn Kevin Durant showed up with the Thunder.
Everyone's favorite Lone Star beer finally arrives in New York. Weirdly, it isn't Lone Star.
Don't get all jealous, but I am constantly going to Klughaus pop-up art exhibits for mysterious French graffiti artists named "Gorey".
An old Irish friend from Dallas just signed this band from Australia. America, meet The Griswolds.
This was maybe the nicest thing ever: these guys were walking all over town taking pics and hashtagging them to #pink4diana for a friend who'd been diagnosed with cancer. They technically only had to wear a piece of pink clothing -- like a handkerchief, or those sweet pants people wear in places that are like Nantucket but not Nantucket -- but decided to go all out instead.
Hands, touching hands.
This is supposed to be the venue for Diageo World Class, an international bartender competition put on with the United States Bartenders' Guild. It kind of just looks like a red door though.
A red door that leads to what's apparently an insanely rich New Orleans expat's townhouse. These people have two courtyards!
Lulu Martinez had the crowd seeing double.
Everyone agreed that Manhattan was the place to be.