Lifestyle

Fine Wines And Insane Clown Posses

When we asked Executive Editor In Charge Of Various Things David Blend to document his existence, he thought, "Sweet, I don't have to write words anymore." So, like in that Jim Carrey or possibly Steve Carell movie, he started saying "yes" to everything, just to be sure he'd have plenty of existence to document. Here's how his two weeks went:

Dude on skateboard, Houston

The very first shot I took was of our video guy, but he made an obscene gesture because he's from both New Jersey and the part of England that decided it was time to stop being polite and start being real uncool when somebody's trying to take your picture. So...

Skateboard, Houston

... here's this dude and his awesome remote-powered monster truck skateboard, which he's actually trying to sell, so inquire if interested.

Jan de Man, Scarsdale

Took the train to eat Italian in Scarsdale. Our cab driver Jan de Man is a rock vocalist who just missed the cut to be the singer for Jan Hammer's band. Jan Hammer did the theme for Miami Vice, which does not have singing in it.

Tony at Racanelli's

Tony's been tossing dough for the Racanelli family for 40yrs -- mostly for Pizza and Brew, and now for Racanelli's.

Pizza at Racanelli's

Tony's handiwork.

Calamari at Racanelli's

Not Tony's handiwork.

Really expensive cognac at Astor Wine & Spirits

Went to a tasting for this rare cask of Louis XIII Cognac, which costs $22,000. Had to leave for a meeting before the tasting part of the tasting.

On the way to the New Museum

Was SUPER-DEPRESSED about my fancy Cognac fail until these dudes headed for the New Museum's Ideas City Festival perked me back up. They're dressed as "Autumn".

Lobo, Coble Hill

Kentucky Derby Day lunch at Lobo in Coble Hill. You used to have to walk upstairs and then back down to get to the back patio. Now you don't. It's very confusing.

Tex-Mex Heart Attack at Carroll Gardens

The name of this dish is pretty straightforward though: The Tex-Mex Heart Attack.

Man holding girlfriend's purse in Brooklyn

"Hey, nice man-purse!" "Hey, nice job popping off right before my hot girlfriend walks up and takes her purse back."

Horse outside Epstein's

This guy gets hired approximately one day per year, but the horse works full-time at Skadden.

Thrillist Cinco Party

Thrillist's Cinco de Mayo party. Some of the tacos were bigger than others.

Lovely taco belt lady

We gave this belt to Best Taco winner Tequila Park. They seemed more interested in the person who handed the belt over.

Thrillist Cinco Party

"So, do you want to be in this story?" "Of course I want to be in this story."

The Hot Dog Taco

This is the world's first hot dog chimichanga, from Los Perros Locos. It might sound locos, but it tasted locos good. That means "crazy good".

Wrestler mask at Berry Park

What's up?

Streetza!

The walk to work. This piece of streetza is the best evidence yet of the Bigfoot-like creature who only eats the crust.

Truck with stuffed animals in Manhattan

Does this make getting run over better or worse?

Zombies sign in Nolita

The dude who runs this place spends four months out of the year snowboarding. Zombies hate the cold.

Sleepy dog in Nolita

Not a morning person. Or a person.

Scrap in Nolita

I was hoping to make an industrially inspired communal table out of this, but I guess people just aren't throwing away stuff worth reclaiming anymore...

Free glass!

Or are they? Free glass!

Greeter, Wine Enthusiast's Red and White Bash

Wine Enthusiast magazine's 25th anniversary Red and White Bash. This guy also produces a ballet called Naughty Nutcracker. The reviews are actually really good.

Aerialists

Aerialists. Not in this picture though.

Burlesque ladies

This is not a very effective curtain.

Crazy purse of vodka on 58th Street

Stopped by a liquor store on 58th St. This is actually a bottle of vodka. Louis Vuittodka?

La Colombe

Going to all this stuff instead of staying at home watching Nashville is exhausting. Are you also pleasantly surprised by Hayden Panettiere's singing?

Louis' Lunch in New Haven

Stopped by New Haven's Louis' Lunch on the way to see Insane Clown Posse in Hartford. Hey, I said I'd say yes to everything.

Hamburger at Louis' in New Haven

Their "hamburger sandwich" hasn't changed since they invented it in 1895.

Kung Fu Vampire

Neither has Kung Fu Vampire, because vampires don't change. That's why they're vampires.

Insane Clown Posse dudes

This part of the concert was scary.

Faygo Armageddon

BUT THIS PART OF THE CONCERT WAS AWESOME. This is Faygo Armageddon, when Juggalos get to hop on stage and spray the crowd with diet root beer. It's pretty much the best time ever.

The po-po, Hartford

Although some people think it leaves you too soaking wet to hug.

The Lone Star Chili Cook Off

The Lone Star Chili Cook Off's sponsored by the Texas Exes & held at Beekman Beer Garden Beachclub.

The Lone Star Chili Cook Off, chili

Queso instead of grated cheddar is what innovation is all about.

Rain at Beekman Beer Garden

Former Longhorn Kevin Durant showed up with the Thunder.

Shiner in New York

Everyone's favorite Lone Star beer finally arrives in New York. Weirdly, it isn't Lone Star.

Gorey's art exhibit, Lower East Side

Don't get all jealous, but I am constantly going to Klughaus pop-up art exhibits for mysterious French graffiti artists named "Gorey".

The Griswolds at Mercury Lounge

An old Irish friend from Dallas just signed this band from Australia. America, meet The Griswolds.

Pink Bunny, East Village

This was maybe the nicest thing ever: these guys were walking all over town taking pics and hashtagging them to #pink4diana for a friend who'd been diagnosed with cancer. They technically only had to wear a piece of pink clothing -- like a handkerchief, or those sweet pants people wear in places that are like Nantucket but not Nantucket -- but decided to go all out instead.

John Fraser of Dovetail

John Fraser from Dovetail pulled no punches at NYC's first fully sanctioned MMA event at Terminal 5, produced by Victory Combat Sports (see lady at top of page).

Touching hands at T-5

Hands, touching hands.

Diageo World Class entrance

This is supposed to be the venue for Diageo World Class, an international bartender competition put on with the United States Bartenders' Guild. It kind of just looks like a red door though.

Diageo World Class courtyard

A red door that leads to what's apparently an insanely rich New Orleans expat's townhouse. These people have two courtyards!

Lulu Martinez

Lulu Martinez had the crowd seeing double.

Chris Mac and Jackie Strum

Cocktail evangelist Chris Mac came all the way up from NOLA. Wine Enthusiast's Jacki Strum came all the way down from Midtown.

Woody Allen projection at Diageo World Class

Everyone agreed that Manhattan was the place to be.