Let’s say you pop a 'gram of the setting sun pouring down 18th St from the Hudson. Terrific. That’s a perfect artsy-landmark-type shot, and if you play your filter game right you can skip a caption entirely, so hit it with a bit of the ol’ Ludwig. Boom: an unremarkable view into a photo so warm & vibrant that if it was a Windows XP background template, its file name would be Love_inthe_Summertime.jpg.
Or how about an ice cream sundae? Hit the editing tools, and plop a double-scoop of contrast (more), saturation (more), and brightness (slightly down) right on top of that sucker like a goddamned photo-manipulated cherry. This brings us to our next tip:
Always order for two
If you’re in a New York relationship, you know that most of your time together is spent Instagramming food at one of the city’s innumerable delicious restaurants. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re reading this article. DO THE MATH: it’s imperative that you spam the bejesus out of your feed with photos of foods on which couples feed. Go to Morganstern’s and get that ice cream sundae. Hit Freeman’s for brunch and order eggs, waffles, granola, and two coffees, then rip a shot of the bounteous spread, slap some ambiguous copy under it ("Breakfast with #bae"), and kick back as the likes come rolling in.