Lifestyle

Screw SF. NYC is the hottest city in the country.

Recently, Travel and Leisure published a very confused article in which it polled its readers on which cities they thought were the best-looking, and in an astounding show of poor judgement, they chose backwater no-names like San Francisco, Providence, and Nashville as the top three hottest, with even Chicago -- CHICAGO! -- above NYC. Here's a list of 15 reasons why that's utterly ridiculous:

1. Because no model has ever thought, "once I get to San Francisco I've really made it".

2. Because there's a chance that no model has ever even been to Nashville.

3. We have hot chicks in every industry. Seriously, pick an industry, and we can put together a “The Hot Girls of ____” list. The Hot Girls of Finance? Check. The Hot Girls of PR? Check. The Hot Girls of Being In-House Counsel for Independent Film Companies Based In Manhattan With Satellite Offices In Los Angeles? ... Check.

4. San Francisco's major celebrity is Mark Zuckerberg... and no one has ever wanted to F*** the Z***.

5. The general population cares much more about the way they look. Ambition makes a difference.

6. We have two of each major sports team. Athletes (no, not you, CC Sabathia) and groupies are hot.

7. You know that time during the Winter when you look at yourself and you've put on a little Winter weight? That's Chicago all the time.

8. Having great burritos and a ton of hills makes you fart a lot, San Francisco. Not cute.

9. Have you seen the outfits worn out in clubs? It's not always tasteful, but it's pretty much always hot. Do they even have clubs in those other places?

10. I don't buy the "we have the outdoors and are more active" nonsense. I literally don't know anybody who doesn't go to the gym.

11. Diversity; there's something here for anyone with any kind of taste. Exhibitionist sex parties? Yep! Someone who just wants to hang out and read On the Road and smoke a J, or whatever else they probably do in SF? Got that too.

12. Bankers are great-looking because they buy infinity Kiehl's and their ancestors were on the Mayflower. In the weird instances that they’re not stunningly good-looking… well, they’re still rich.

13. We have 85yr-old women you’d still have sex with because they’ve been perfectly preserved inside Park Avenue apartments, where they regularly receive house calls from dermatologists who’ve invented revolutionary new topical ointments and personalized diets.

14. On any given moment, on any given day, in places like bodegas or the subway, you have the chance to see the most beautiful person you've ever seen in real life. That's just not really true elsewhere.

15. We're super modest, and everyone knows modesty is sexy.