Available Public Park Space Spotter
Free, open, green space is one of this city’s most precious natural resources. If it's sunny and 75 you can wager those Canal St Ray-Bans that Central Park, Prospect Park, Battery Park, and That Patch of Grass on the Subway Platform will be jammed with bro-tanks and ironic Nerf whistler footballs. Rather than lurk slowly past the group that appears to be packing up their Brie or waking up, you know, early, hire a Park Space Spotter, because no one wants to spend the majority of Park Day searching for a place to enjoy Park Day.
Subway Flight Attendant
"Pardon me [gently touches shoulder], you should wake up, your stop is approaching. Would you like a hot towel before you depart? Is there anything else I can do to enhance your experience today? No? Well, thank you for choosing the MTA. We hope we made your commute just a little brighter [white teeth gleam]."
Overzealous Bar Flirt Regulator
You’ve built up the courage to converse with the stranger who locked eyes with you. After your attempt to establish a common acquaintance from their university fails a third and fourth time, you need to move on. This isn’t always easy to recognize, but Overzealous Bar Flirt Regulator knows when to say, "Before you lose what is left of your dignity, let’s go play Buck Hunter!”