Because you want to move to a place where everyone doesn't wear backwards Sox hats and sweatpants/mesh shorts to bars.
Because your life doesn't begin and end with college football.
Because more people actually dress and act like Prince here.
Look, we're gonna level with you -- most of the stuff in here is a joke and lighthearted, but seriously, move. Do it now.
Because you're never sure if you're in the Southeast or the Southwest, and you secretly hate Nelly.